i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
