I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
