he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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