hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
