Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is wine microwaveable?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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