Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The air was thick with penises
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
