soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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