i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
