The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
