just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize