there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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