it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
