youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
