I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
