Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
