I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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