He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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