I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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