well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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