Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
