she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
