what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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