i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
