I showed him my bush... on skype.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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