Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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