she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
