Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
