therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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