i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Randomize
