bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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