I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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