almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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