Sponge bath it is.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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