im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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