then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
