I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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