fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
