she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
