It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He better not be in your backpack
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
