We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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