You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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