Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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