Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
