I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
