just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
