If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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