There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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