Where is the hickey?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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