I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
