Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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